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Rethinking body image

Realising that body image is an issue that is holding you back in life is the first step on the path to promoting a healthier body image. Body image issues can affect people of all ages and genders. We are bombarded with messages from the media promoting unrealistic beauty ideals for men and women. The familiar refrain of ‘New Year: New You’ or ’Get in Shape for Summer’ can lead us to believe that we are not good enough as we are, and that we must do something to change our appearance or ourselves in some way.

Turn your focus away from body image

Body image concerns can skew our perception, leading us to emphasise the importance of appearance. Make a conscious effort to change this and to shift your focus away from body image. Try to stop judging body shapes or making appearance comments and shift your focus instead to personality traits, abilities or achievements. Remind yourself of the qualities you admire in friends and family that make them enjoyable to be around. Consider your own strengths, achievements or skills and remind yourself that your worth is not determined by your appearance. 

Often we are much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. We all have negative self talk and during times of stress or if we are dissatisfied with aspects of our life or how we look, this inner critic can become overwhelming. It is not as easy as turning off the ‘I’m not good enough’ thinking however recognising and acknowledging this thinking and making a conscious choice to treat ourselves and our bodies in a kinder way is a very positive step towards feeling better about ourselves. 

We are bombarded with images of ‘ideal’ bodies in the media and these can put us under pressure but it’s important to remind ourselves that these body ideals are not realistic and that staying on that quest for perfection can lead us to feel unhappy in our lives. Make a conscious choice to drop the requirement to be a ‘perfect’ person in all aspects of your life and to accept the parts you do like and don’t like about how you look and who you are. Make an effort to recognise and celebrate your strengths. It might be helpful to consider the positive qualities that other’s see in you. You could jot down compliments or positive feedback in a private notebook to acknowledge the qualities people admire or respect in you and continue to add to this. A glance through this notebook on a difficult day may remind you to accept and appreciate who you are.

Reduce negative influences to body image

Consider the negative influences to body image in your life and how you can reduce their impact. You will find specific information on this website to help you to challenge media and social media pressure, advice on dealing with negative comments from peers, information to support specifically male or female body image concerns and a section for young people which was developed in collaboration with the Bodywhys Youth Panel. See the dropdown menu at the top of the page to select the areas which are most relevant to you.

Accepting who you are

It can be difficult to accept the body shape we have when we are inundated with unrealistic media ideals. The ideal body shape for women in the media has got thinner as actual body size and shape have got bigger, likewise for men, the muscular body ideal has become more extreme. The unrealistic bodies presented create more room for people to feel dissatisfied and for the beauty/exercise and cosmetic surgery industry to grow. Become critical of media messages and  avoid comparing yourself to the glossy unrealistic images and body shapes you see. Remind yourself that these are edited to look as they do and that big companies and industries are profiting on people not feeling good enough. They promote insecurity to trigger people to purchase their products. Make a conscious effort to ignore these messages and to strive towards well-being and enjoying life rather than the pursuit of unrealistic ideals.

Often when a person doesn't like their body, they unconsciously only compare themselves to people they would like to be like, which may compound their feelings of not being okay as they are. If you notice that you are comparing yourself in this way, try doing this CBT-E exercise when you’re walking down the street: instead of comparing yourself to someone you pick out, try comparing to every 5th person you pass. That way you find that everyone is different and that you are acceptable as you are.

It can also be challenging to accept our bodies as they are, if we have been binge eating, purging or following strict diet and exercise regimes for so long we are out of touch with how our bodies feel or what they need. A very positive first step can be to tune into your body and how it is feeling, to trust the messages your body sends you and to decide to give your body what it needs. Learning to accept yourself as you are begins with ‘checking in’ to determine the thoughts and behaviours you are currently engaging in which are unhelpful, and starting to replace these with more supportive habits.

‘Check in’ with your body

What would you do and how would you treat yourself if you were a true friend to yourself? It can take a while to learn to tune in to ourselves and our bodies and give ourselves what we need. Start to ‘check in’ with yourself and consider: What do I need right now? What could I do right now that would be good for me and my body? Maybe you need a rest, a hot shower, to relax with a cup of tea or a walk in the fresh air. Start to respond to what your body needs and you will begin to build a positive supportive relationship with your body. You could also get to know what feels good by tuning in to your senses. Try to consider what sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures appeal to you and to make choices based on what feels right and good for your body. Start to consider which fabrics feel nice on your skin, what foods make you feel nourished, which scents, colours and sounds you prefer and build a life that feels good for you.

Activities to promote body and mind connection

There are some activities which can promote the mind body connection and enable you to tune in more easily to how your body feels or what you might need. These include yoga, conscious dance practices, breathing exercises, meditation, walking, spending time in nature or just slowing down and taking time to relax. You will find useful links on this topic in the sections below.

Intuitive movement, exercise and body image

Intuitive movement involves listening to your body and moving in ways that feel good. Research indicates that certain activities can foster a mind-body connection and are beneficial for reducing body image concerns. Intuitive movement and mindful yoga or dance practices can be a helpful and enjoyable way to connect with our body and what it needs. Yoga or dance practices which include a focus on slow movement, connecting with our breathing and listening to the body can be an effective way to do this. When considering which classes to try, consider what your motivation is and ensure you are choosing a class that will encourage a mindful connection with your body rather than a fast class which emphasises body goals. Slower more mindful types of yoga such as Hatha Yoga, Anusara or Yin tend to be more focused on the mind body connection. Likewise there are certain dance practices which focus on the mind body connection and which are not appearance focused. Dance embodiment and conscious dance practices focus on slow movement, connecting to your breath and listening to how your body wants to move. These may provide an opportunity to get to know and to experience different movement practices that help you feel more connected to your body and positively impact on quality of life, mood and body image. These practices typically emphasise intuitive movement, connecting or listening to the body and are not focused on appearance. If you are unsure of whether a class is for you, contact the centre or teacher in advance to find our more.

Redefining exercise

Sometimes negative body image can affect our relationship with exercise and our perception of it. Those who have been engaged in punishing exercise regimes to maintain a certain body shape may subconsciously continue to seek out types of exercise to push their bodies or to burn calories. Likewise those who have not exercised for a while might feel that exercise is not for them, may judge their bodies harshly and feel too self conscious to start. These perceptions of exercise may limit our choices. Making an effort to change our perception of exercise can be a helpful first step.

Choose exercise you enjoy

Exercise is good for our physical and mental health. Try to choose exercise you enjoy and tune in to your body. Research indicates that exercise which is motivated by enjoyment or for physical or health benefits leads to greater body image satisfaction and tends to reduce food restriction. However, exercise which is motivated mainly by appearance-based factors e.g. weight management or attractiveness, tends to have a negative impact on body image.

Consider what feels good

A walk in the fresh air, stretching your body in ways that feel good, activities with friends, dancing, any activity that makes your body feel good will also have a positive effect on mood and well-being. Think about an activity you would like to try and set a goal for yourself to try this in whatever way is comfortable for you. You might prefer to do something alone, with a good friend or to join a class. Whatever you decide to do, make enjoyment your goal. Allow yourself to perceive exercise as a positive choice for your body that will promote positive physical and mental health. The goal is to choose something that will make you feel good.

If you think ‘should’ - think again

How can you figure out if you are exercising for healthy reasons? How can you tell if you are exercising because you enjoy it and it makes you feel good? A good indicator of whether we are choosing exercise to treat our bodies with kindness and to look after our physical and mental health or whether we are persisting with old negative habits in relation to exercise is to consider the way you think and feel. If you are listening to what your body needs, tuning in to how your body feels during and after exercise and feel like you are making supportive choices for your body in general then it is likely that your exercise choices are also supportive of your well-being.

If however you feel like you ‘should’ exercise or feel like you are ‘not good enough’ if you don’t exercise, it is important to consider why. If you don’t or can’t exercise how do you feel? If you find that you are anxious or down because you can’t exercise, or are cancelling activities or social events to exercise then tune in to this. Pushing ourselves to adhere to exercise regimes even when our bodies and minds are saying ‘no’ is a step away from listening to what we really need. Continuing in this way may have a negative impact on your well-being.

Think honestly about your reasons for exercising. If you are sill choosing exercise to change your body, to punish yourself for looking a certain way, to compensate for foods eaten, to maintain a certain body shape or because you feel you ‘should’ then this mitigates the positive effects to well-being. Read through the sections above, ‘check in’ with your body, try to respond to what your body needs and begin to build a positive supportive relationship with your body which will improve your overall well-being and quality of life.

Self-compassion and body image

Self-compassion has been shown to have a positive impact on body image. Self-compassion means being gentle with ourselves and treating ourselves with the same kindness we might show a close friend or loved one. Often we berate ourselves or treat ourselves harshly for imperfections or mistakes that we would overlook in others. Offering ourselves the kindness we extend to others can greatly improve the quality of our lives. Make a conscious effort to drop the quest for perfection in all aspects of your life and give yourself a chance to enjoy the life and body you have.

Dealing with unhelpful comments from friends or family about your body

If friends or family are making unhelpful comments about your appearance it can be difficult to know how to manage this. Asking them to refrain from body talk, letting them know that their comments are not helpful and setting clear boundaries could be beneficial. Surround yourself with positive friends and family who appreciate you for who you are. Spend time with people you feel comfortable with and whom you feel you can be yourself with.

Bodywhys body image webinar:

The Improving Body Image webinar below was recorded on 19th November 2020.

Useful Resources + links: Body Image

🎧 Podcast: Positive body image: Listen to the hosts of the Appearance Matters podcast interview Dr. Tracy Tylka about positive body image and discuss relevant research studies on this topic - click here.

💻 Website: For additional information on self compassion - click here

🎧 Podcast: Listen to Dr. Hazel Wallace and registered nutritionist Laura Thomas discuss diet culture, body neutrality and intuitive eating - click here.

🎧 Podcast: Listen to psychotherapist Sharon Martin discuss how to add more self-compassion into your life - click here.

🎧 Podcast: Listen to dietitians Corrine Dobbas and Fiona Sutherland talk about body image and body image healing - click here.

🎧 Podcast: Listen to personal trainer Tally Rye discuss the concept of intuitive movement - click here.

📰 Article: This article on A Lust for Life discusses modern gym culture and male body image and considers the pressure that gym culture may exert on men to adhere to a certain ideal body shape and size.

📰 Article: This article provides some useful insight into body talk and practical suggestions on gently setting boundaries with friends or family who may be making unhelpful comments about your body.

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