Improving Body Image: Part 5
Body image tips for young people by young people
Body image advice for young people
What is body Image?
Body image describes how a person feels about their own body and appearance. It includes how you see yourself, how you think and feel about how you look and how you think others see you. Our body image often affects the way we treat our body.
Research tells us that most young people in Ireland and worldwide are not happy with how they look and that this is causing them difficulty in their lives. The advice on this page has been designed in collaboration with the Bodywhys Youth Panel and focus groups with young people aged 16-22 nationwide, you’ll see quotes from them throughout this page.
Listen to Fiona Flynn, our Youth Development Manager, describe Body Image and Self-Esteem
“Remember body image is only one part of who you are. The media makes it seem like body image is the most important thing but if you think of real life and the people you love spending time with and why you like spending time with them I bet how they look doesn’t even come into it! We enjoy being around people for who they are – and that’s what they like about us too.”
“I had to go through a process of being like, my body is actually me. And it’s not out to get me.”
- Billie Eilish
“I exist as I am… I have no desire to be chiselled. To have a six-pack. That sounds boring and time-consuming to me”
- Lewis Capaldi
Self-compassion
Sometimes we are much harder on ourselves than we are on other people. Thinking about ourselves harshly can really get us down. We all have negative thoughts but noticing these and being kinder to ourselves can often improve how we feel. Check out our page on low mood to learn more about self-compassion.
Imagine you are running out the door to meet friends and you see yourself in the mirror on your way out and think “I look awful”. Consider how that one thought might affect how you feel leaving the house, how you feel meeting your friends, how much you enjoy the evening or how you feel the next day?
Try and treat yourself with the same kindness you would treat a friend. Often, we can be very harsh on ourselves and speak quite critically to ourselves. Usually, we speak to ourselves far more harshly than we would to a friend or family member. Try to notice your harsh self-talk and see if there is a different way that you could look at the situation. Ask yourself how you would talk to a friend or family member if they were in your shoes.
If you find you judge yourself harshly in the mirror, an idea (from the Bodywhys Youth Panel) was to stick a reminder beside the mirror to speak to yourself with kindness… It could be a sticky note asking “would you say this to a friend?” or a positive affirmation “I am treating my body with kindness.” One focus group participant described putting a childhood photo beside the mirror to remind her to treat herself with the same kindness as she would treat a child. Consider what might work for you and choose an image or quote to remind you to take a step back and observe your thoughts in a way that will support you to be kinder to yourself. Be patient with yourself when trying to do this - this is a new skill and learning it can take time and some work.
“Chasing the image of perfection is like chasing a rainbow – you can see it but you’re never going to get there
”
Listen to our Youth Development Manager, Fiona Flynn, describe Self-Talk
NEGATIVE THOUGHT: “Hardly anyone liked my social media post – nobody likes me.”
BALANCED THOUGHT: Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings and emotions come up with the negative thought and then see if you can bring some balance, such as, “I don’t need people to like my posts in order for me to feel OK. Real friendship is not about the number of likes online – having a few people who really care about me is way more important than likes online.”
ADVICE: Try and spend more time doing things you enjoy and being around people you connect with instead of connecting online and see how that makes you feel.
Change the Conversation
One big pressure on body image that we hear from young people, which is also reflected in the research, is pressure from the people around us. It can be very difficult to avoid conversations about appearance when we live in a culture that is obsessed with looks and weight. But one thing you can do to support your body image and the body image of the people around you is to think about the conversations you have with your friends. Talking a lot about how people in the media look or dieting or body building can put body image pressure on you and your friends. We may think it’s harmless to speak negatively about our own bodies in front of others but without meaning to we may have a negative effect on those around us and encourage comparisons.
Support your friends in trying lots of new things and finding stuff they really love doing. Sometimes people say they feel pressure to be online all the time. Talk to your friends about social media pressure – maybe even do an experiment to reduce time online and see how that makes you feel, even having one other person to do this with can make it a lot easier. In focus groups, young people described ‘needing time away from social media sometimes’ and letting their friends know they were taking a break and how to contact them in advance, was helpful so were still included in any group meet ups during that time.
“Focus on the positive. We all have things that we don’t like about how we look but focusing on these perceived flaws can really hold us back. Think about what you do like and try and focus on that instead”
“If you’re not feeling good about how you look – focusing on that and trying to change myself just makes me feel worse. But thinking of something else and doing what I love doing – playing music really helped. I think instead of going along with what your friends are doing – do what you really want to do – you enjoy it and feel proud of yourself and good about yourself and then feel better about how you look too. Works for me!”
Don’t compare yourself to others and stop trying to fit in
There are so many things outside of appearance that make you who you are. Make a list of positive things about yourself. Think about your qualities, your values, the things that you enjoy doing. If it feels right, then maybe consider positive things about your appearance too. If this feels difficult that’s ok, most people find exercises like this hard because we don’t often spend time looking at the positives about ourselves.
We may even think it’s a bit vain or self-obsessed, but really, all you are doing is getting to know yourself better and learning to see yourself as a whole person, who is so much more than just their appearance. If you are having difficulty you could include things which other people have said to you. It could be that you’re a great friend, or you have a lovely laugh. Looking at ourselves from the perspective of someone else can help us to recognise those qualities in ourselves, and then we can begin to notice those traits ourselves, without needing to rely on other people. Focusing on all aspects of you as a person may be helpful in reminding yourself that body image is only one part of who you are and generally is not what other people appreciate about you.
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out.”
“Be around people who like you for who you are – don’t try to be someone you’re not”
Banter about bodies
We may think that having a bit of banter with our friends about appearance is harmless. If it’s just a light-hearted joke how much damage could it really do? Well, appearance related teasing is a very common pressure on young people’s body image. A study in Australia found that 77.7% of young people have gotten negative comments or been teased about their appearance. This can really impact young people’s body image negatively. Before you comment on someone’s appearance, take a breath and consider the impact it will have. If you witness appearance related teasing happening, do your best to call it out as unacceptable behaviour, or tell an adult that you trust.
“Don’t judge people by how they look. If we lighten up a little in the way we judge others then maybe we will also lighten up a little bit on ourselves.”
Social Media Tips
Tune in to how the content you view makes you feel. Make a conscious choice to unfollow content that makes you feel like changing yourself or makes you less happy with how you look. Set a reminder to go through who you’re following every 6 months.
Use the mute button. If a friend is posting content that is affecting you negatively, but you don’t want to unfollow them, mute them! They won’t know but you’ll no longer get their content on your feed.
Turn off notifications. Go to the settings of your social media apps and turn off notifications. This way you get to decide when you want to engage with social media, instead of constantly being pulled in.
Use time limits. Most phones have built in screen time limits which you can set for social media apps. This can help you use social media more mindfully.
Diversify your feed. Make a conscious effort to follow lots of diverse people, and people who look differently to you. Try to include people of different races, body sizes and abilities in your feed.
Control your suggested content. Many social media apps have settings to control what you see in your advertising and suggested content. Use our video below to change your settings in Instagram. Revise this from time to time and add new terms.
What do you like? Go through what you follow and make sure it’s things that really interest you or inspire you, rather than pages you feel pressured to follow because your friends like them. Take plenty of time to explore those interests in real life as well.
Remember social media is not real life. When we’re scrolling it’s easy to compare our lives to what see on social media. Remind yourself often that people tend to post the ‘good stuff’ and leave out all the everyday, routine tasks so it looks like everyone is having a really fantastic time all the time.
Always question who is profiting? Who benefits from making you feel insecure and like you want to change yourself, because it isn’t you. Big corporations or influencers who are selling products make money on you feeling bad about yourself.
Remember it’s your choice! We may feel pressure to be on social media but ultimately, we get to decide if and how we use it. You can experiment with deleting certain apps for a short period of time and see how that makes you feel. Let your friends know via a messaging app that you’re taking a little break, and they can contact you there.
Check out our page on media and social media for more info.
This video from Bodywhys' Instagram account gives instructions on how to manage your suggested content.
HOW TO PROMOTE POSITIVE BODY IMAGE IN YOUR SCHOOL
Posters: Create posters of ‘what we do see’ and ‘what we don’t see’ on social media and put these up around your school. This may help to highlight that what we see on social media does not reflect real life.
Media experiments: You could do experiments to see how taking breaks from media and social media makes you feel.
Digital detox day: Get your school to support the idea of a detox day – everyone goes without looking at social media or screens for one day or even one week. You could get sponsorship for the digital detox and raise money for charity.
Expose media tricks: Do projects to highlight how what we see in the media is not real. You could search for before and after images which have been airbrushed; you could collect articles from social media influencers describing how their life was not always as it appeared in the photos they were posting. Displaying these projects around your school may encourage other students to consider media editing techniques also and to carry out similar projects.
Be Unique Day: Have a ‘Be Unique Day’ in your school and encourage people to wear colourful clothes or hairstyles that make them feel good. You could use this opportunity to raise money for a mental health charity of your choice.
Body Positive Wall: You could decorate a wall in your school with positive body image quotes and provide post it notes for people to write down things they like about themselves, body positive messages or images to stick on the wall too.
Take this example from a school Bodywhys visited last year!
Useful Resources + links:
🎓 Programme: “SeeMySelf” is an online programme designed for young people aged 15-24. This interactive 6 week programme focuses on different issues such as self-esteem, body image, media, and culture.
💻 Website: Bodywhys provide a range of services for people affected by an eating disorder including an online support group for over 18s Bodywhys Connect and for under 18s Bodywhys YouthConnect.
💻 Website: SpunOut.ie is Ireland’s youth information website created by young people, for young people.
💻 Website: SpunOut.ie has a useful fact sheet on body image.
💻 Website: Take this quiz to learn more about body image
🎥 Video: Watch the difference between how adults and kids respond to the question “What would you change about your body?”
🎧 Podcast: Listen to young people and experts from Australia’s Butterfly foundation talk about body image in young people.
🎧 Podcast: Listen to young people, influencers and experts from Australia’s Butterfly foundation talk about body image and social media.
🎥 Video: This video breaks down the findings from Butterfly Foundation’s 2023 Body Kind survey of young people.
💻 Website: A Lust for Life provides content, campaigns and events to facilitate young people to be effective guardians of their own mind.
💻 Website: Jigsaw provide services nationwide to support youth mental health.
💻 Website: See the Useful Links and Resources section of this Bodywhys Body Image website for a more comprehensive list of supports.